Aspirations vs Rules
In software development, there are numerous ways to run a ‘project’. In almost every case, there are rules — written or not — that the group agrees to follow. The same goes in social constructs, like families, hobby groups, clubs, religions, and so on — ‘rules’ generally exist.
What broke me out of “rules?”
I had a 1-1 with an extremely sharp senior software developer, who was expressing angst over how a couple individuals on the team were not following one of the rules they set up in their ‘working agreement’ (defining how they work together and some processes). This brilliant person asked me, “Well if we’re going to just break the rules, why have any at all?”
I thought for a moment and offered a different perspective: let’s not call them rules, and instead call them aspirations.
Why aspirations?
1 - We want them!
Aspirations motivate us to a place we want to be at. We don’t dread them, we need them to improve somehow, and they can invigorate and energize us.
2 - They are allowed to come and go.
Sometimes we “just can’t.” Maybe we’re sick, exhausted, or questioning the aspiration itself. The coming-and-going of aspirations is no big deal and allows us space to '“recharge” so we can resume the pursuit.
3 - Aspirations can bend, rules break.
Aspiration is also generally viewed as a positive force, and rules can imply something more punitive in general.
4 - It’s not “all or nothing.”
When we aspire, we try to be better. Often we are excited at the opportunity to build the new muscle. And we don’t grip it so tightly that we say “well I can’t do this so I’m just giving up”. Aspiration has within it the drive to NOT give up, and make compromises so that eventually you do get where you’re going.
5 - Aspirations have a positive connotation
To me, it’s often fun or exciting to “aspire” to something. I don’t mind good rules — for example, laws are good ones. If a coworker doesn’t always reach an aspiration, we might give them the benefit of the doubt, “Well, they’re trying, their heart is in the right place” and so on. But what happens if you break a rule? Usually — some sort of punishment.
Summary
Aspirations inspire me to my better behaviors than the spectre of rules. Rules are fine and definitely needed, but my day-to-day hums along better with aspiration.
