Using “Compassion”

I think this word is often misunderstood, so I put it in quotes. I’m favoring an interpretation of the word over the scholastic definition.

1 - Compassion can be learned!

You read that right. By cultivating the right thoughts, actions, and words over a period of time, it will arise naturally from you. It requires diligent and earnest effort, and can be done.

2 - Compassion is Active, not passive

Compassion requires fortitude, strength, effort, consistency, confidence, and gentle relentless persistence. There is no finish line to cross, no box you can tick to mark it as ‘done’.

3 - Compassion is not Empathy

Empathy is needed, but with empathy alone, the outcome is different. Being compassionate will often require action that seems like it flies in staunch opposition to empathy. For example, consider that old Trekkie mantra, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” It sure sounds like there is a tradeoff to be made there. Alone, empathy can be consuming and make me do things that are not beneficial.

I view compassion as the actionable extension of empathy. Our actions sometimes are hurtful in order to be compassionate — empathy makes us aware of all the feelings and emotions that arise in the process.

4 - Compassion is For You First, Others Later

Compassion is for you, me, other people, your peers, family, friends, your team.

But mostly, for you. You can’t be compassionate for others until you start with yourself.

I did a lot of peer counseling and support as a younger person and I thought taking care of others was better than taking care of myself. Boy, I wish I knew how wrong I was back then.